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How to avoid falling into the FRIEND ZONE

“You are like a brother to me”. “You are such a great friend.” “Any girl would be lucky to have a great guy like you beside her”. If you have heard this before, there is a great possibility that you have fallen into what is known as the FRIEND ZONE. You have entered a place where the girl is happy to have you around as a companion she can talk, shop and gossip with. There is nothing wrong with this, unless you have romantic feelings for her. There are some steps to be taken whether you are already in the friend zone or trying not to fall in it.

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WHAT TO AVOID

  • Being TOO close: Spending too much time with her and becoming her “buddy” could be a deal breaker. Be careful on how the time with her is spent and do not go crazy doing favors for her and being overly nice expecting her to like you. It takes more than that. Have your own friends. Don’t be calling her and making yourself so present and available all of the time. Make your own plans without her.
  • RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: You can be her friend and listen to her but once she starts asking for advice on dating, love and other men, you are in deep trouble. Becoming her confidant in this aspect is not really a favorable circumstance when you are trying to have another type of relationship with her. Remember, you are not “one of the girls”.

 

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WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:

  • TOUCH: This sound creepy but it is not. Let me explain. If you touch her in a sensual way, she will know that you are flirting and that your intentions are more than just to be friends. A simple touch to her lower back when you are walking or leading her way, touching her arm, face, hands, and one of my favorites, HUGS, are examples of ways you can get closer.
  • HONESTY: Take the risk and be honest about how you feel about her. Do not be afraid of being rejected and losing her as a friend. We often wonder about the intentions a guy friend has for us. The best is to keep your intentions up front so don’t beat around the bush and do put your feelings out there and speak up. Establish that you like her. Tell her that you want more than a friendship and when you both go out make your outings a “DATE” by using the actual word. If she does not reciprocate the feelings, at least you know before you fall further in love with her. On that note, you should also be honest with yourself.
  • KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY:  Listening to her venting about other men out there will make it worse for you. You will become frustrated, jealous and bitter. This is when you have to ask yourself the following: Am I willing to put myself through this pain?Don’t stick around being her platonic friend, waiting to see if she changes her mind. As I stated earlier, do your own thing. Start treating her as an acquaintance. Make room for someone in your life and heart that feels the same way about you. Also, be                 careful falling into the cat and mouse game. Sometimes people want what they can’t have. Once you back up, she might miss having you around and come to you to only leave you again. Think about your feelings first, second and third.

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It is not easy to be trapped in the Friend Zone. At any given time in our lives, we have all fallen into it. Yes, it does happen to women as well. The way you handle it could go a long way and change the course of your relationship. Some of the best relationships DO start as good friends first.  Remember though that whatever the outcome is, the most important thing is to stay true to yourself.

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Copyright:  © DarleneVazquetelles, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Darlene Vazquetelles with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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20 Things Men Should NOT Do On A First Date

20 THINGS MEN SHOULD NOT DO ON A FIRST DATE

Combining past experiences I have had in the dating scene with stories told to me by some of my girlfriends I came up with this list of the top 20 things a man should NOT do when taking us on a first date.  Starting with the top answer I received, here is the list of those things he would do that will have us ignoring his phone calls later.
(I have changed names in order to protect privacy of friends and ex dates)

1. AGGRESIVENESS

Jessica: “I was having an amazing dinner with this guy that I was really starting to like. The conversation went well and there was definitely a connection…until we left the restaurant and he walked me to my car.  He grabbed me and started kissing me in a very forceful way.  It was not a sweet, reciprocated first date kiss.  It was the total opposite and in an instant that aggressiveness completely turned me off.”

There is a time for everything.  Being too touchy on the first date only shows that the person is desperate.  It can be very uncomfortable.  We are just getting to know you and for most of us, it is more about finding out who you are than to feeling your hands (or tongue) all over us.

Having sex on the first date has worked for some couples but in the majority of the cases it is the end of what has not even started.  We could easily be left with this thought:  Is this what he does with every woman he asks out?

Aside from physical aggressiveness there is also the one that could happen during conversation.  Asking too many personal questions on a first date can also make us feel uncomfortable. As I said, there is a time for everything and topics during a first date should be kept light and simple.

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2. CELLPHONES

Getting to know a girl should be the reason why she is being taken out on a date.  So, it is pretty much common sense that the cellphone should be put away by both parties.

LESLIE: “I once went out with a guy who had me ask for a table while he ran out to the parking lot to go get his cellphone.  I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt thinking he did not want it stolen from his car, but as the night went on, every minute was worse than the one before.  He had his cellphone on the table the whole time, constantly checking it, texting and even changing his Facebook status a couple of times.  I was tempted to do the same and change it to SOMEONE PLEASE GET ME OUT OF THIS HORRIBLE DATE! (Tagging his name along with the status update).”

Put that phone away and focus on your date.  Enough said.  This actually goes beyond dates.  When you have someone in front of you, try to stay away from playing with your cell.

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3. LOCATION LOCATION

Taking your date out to a loud place where you cannot hear each other is a bad idea.  If going out dancing or to a concert is your idea of a great date night, make sure there is some quiet time prior to the party scene.  We want to get to know you before anything else and this is why we accepted your invitation.  This guy Antonio who I was very much attracted to asked me out and it was fine with me that he chose a local club that played great live music.  I knew this place had a patio area where we could sit and talk.  It was not the ideal place for a first date but I was open to going out with him.  We had a good conversation even with the music coming from the room next door and with all the distractions that came from all the people walking around us.  But, I cannot say that it was the best date as it was pretty noisy and uncomfortable to carry on a conversation.

Going to the movies is one of the top invitations I have received when asked out by a man. It is also my first no-no as to where I prefer to go.  You spend two hours of your date on complete silence, watching a movie that you might like but then, you might also hate.  And there goes that date.  I got to know your lousy choice of movies and absolutely nothing else about you.  Movies are good for couples that have already passed those first dates.

4. SELF-ABSORPTION

With the intention of making himself look good a man might tend to talk too much about what he has, or pretends to have.  Showing off your expensive car, jet, villa in Europe, the condo in Miami or the yacht at the nearest marina will not impress us that much.  Even if he has all of these, there is a way and a time to let us know.  On our first date we just want to know who you are, not everything you possess. When the conversation turns more into a pitch for us to choose you as our man, only two things can happen:  The woman will date you only for your possessions or you will not hear from her again.

Also, keep all your personal details for later.  Saying too much or too soon can scare anyone away.  Make it a dialogue and not a monologue.

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5. THE WANDERING EYE

MONICA:  “I was sitting at this bar with someone I was really into.  It was our first time out together after getting to know each other through phone conversations and social gatherings.  There was a connection there and we both knew that we liked each other. We walked into a bar to grab some drinks and dinner as we wanted to keep it more casual than a sit down fancy dinner date.  Twenty minutes into the date I lost his eyes.  As girls came in and walked by us, they took his eyes with them.  It is acceptable to admire a beautiful girl that walks by, but to stare at each and every girl that walks by, not so.  I kept it cool, ordered myself the most expensive wine and excused myself because I was “tired” and wanted to go home.  Let me call this: “I have an early meeting tomorrow morning.” Talk about a clueless man as he kept calling me to ask me out.  I did not waste my time giving him excuses or telling him why I was turned off by him.  I simply told him I was not interested.  He had been very rude and disrespectful and didn’t even notice. But, that was his problem, not mine.  My eye ended up wandering all the way to the man I married and now call my husband.”

6. DRINKING TO GET DRUNK

Having a glass of wine or a drink is a great way to chill out the nervousness that comes with first dates.  Overdoing it is the best way to kill the possibilities of a second.  Although this article is focused on what men should NOT do on a first date, the wrongdoing on getting drunk on this first outing goes for both men and women.

7. APPEARANCE

The same way we take the time to get ready and prep up, men should do the same.

SOFIA:  “I was once asked to dinner and got all dressed up only to open the door to a man wearing sneakers, ripped jeans, an overly washed t-shirt and a jacket that appeared to belong to a man three sizes bigger than his.  I was terrified.  Men should make that extra effort the same way that we do.

Smell is also very important. Make sure that you wear a good cologne without overdoing the amount of sprays.  Have some breathe mints on you just in case. Clean up the car before you pick her up.  These to do’s before you leave the house are simple but trust me, we do notice.

8. MAKING IT A GROUP DATE

Although it was our second date, being that we had not seen each other for some time because of some traveling for work, I was excited to meet up with Ricardo.  We had been communicating via phone and email and were very excited to see each other again.  I drove to his place and got into his car for our dinner date, only to find that my seat was in the back.  He had two other people in the car and on our drive to the restaurant I felt I was in a business meeting rather than that date that we were supposed to be having.  And this business-date-meeting lasted for two hours where my disappointment levels increased by the minute.

Taking a girl out on what is supposed to be a date and inviting other people without prior discussion should never happen.  The only way it could be acceptable is if both of you talk about it and it is okay with her.  Still, this situation on a first date is not the way to go as the plan of getting to know one another will be disrupted.  It is a time where you should remember:  Not open for Business!

9.  RUDENESS

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Being rude to people does not make you more manly.

ROSE:  “I was finally asked out by Fernando.  There were so many things I liked about him just by what I have heard from other people and the brief times we had hung out at social events.  He picked me up and my heart was beating like crazy.  He smelled so good and looked great!  We went to a beautiful sushi restaurant that I had wanted to go for months.  Every little thing he did and said to me was perfect and my heart was very content.  It was one of those situations where everything just flowed in perfect symmetry.  And then came the waitress.  I had never felt this embarrassed in my life.  The poor lady was being treated in the worst possible way by my date.  From the moment she came to our table to the moment we left, he made this woman’s time miserable.  The way he spoke to her and made her feel less important than us was unbearable.  As we walked out to leave,  I went back into the restaurant pretending I had to visit the restroom.  I just wanted to talk to her.  I apologized for what had just happened and for my horrible taste in men.  This was obviously the first and last time I went out with him.”

No matter who you are there is no need to be rude to others, especially someone who is there to serve you.

10. NEGATIVITY

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This one goes hand in hand with being rude to people.  Talking bad about others while on a date shows lack of sensitivity.  If you are upset at a friend or relative, keep it to yourself but don’t take your first date as a venting session.  Who wants to be around a person that is full of complaints and pessimistic behavior?   It leads us to believe that you are weak and carry too much emotional drama.

11. THE EX FACTOR

First dates are an opportunity to see if there is a romantic connection with someone you already started to like.  It is in present time and the two should take the opportunity to find out if there is a chance.  Don’t think too much about the future.  Analyzing if this is the woman/man that you want to marry and have children with is putting too much pressure on the other person and yourself.  Bringing the past to the table is also a way of creating tension.

One of the biggest turn offs is when a man you are out with tells you that he just broke up with his girlfriend.  Who wants to feel that they are on the rebound seat?  Although some women want to know why it did not work out with your ex, a first date is not the right moment.  We do not want to hear it in that precise moment when the focus should be on each other.  Asking about our ex’s it is not the way to go either.  It is a waste of time on both parts if the discussion on the past relationships takes place, at least on your first night going out.

12. ONLINE FAKERS

LAURA: “We met on a dating website. I was very much into this man that I met online and shared great connection with.  We finally set up a date to meet at a local coffee shop.  Some people photograph very different from what they actually look like. But then there is the person that knowingly puts a picture out there that was probably taken ten years ago just because he looked better at the time.  And this was the case with my coffee shop date.  Not only did he look completely different, but his height was way off from what his profile said. I saw him and just walked away.  He didn’t even see me.  What upset me the most was that he lied. It is not about not being attracted to the man I was looking at, it was the fact that he was not being honest right from the start. “

I am a big supporter of online dating.  I know of happily married couples that met this way. Not everyone is into going out to clubs and bars, so trying to meet someone this way is a great way to put yourself out there and meet people.  There should be no need in altering who you are to “impress” someone.  You are blocking your own way to meet someone who will like you for who you are.

13. ZERO CONVERSATION

First date conversations can go two ways:  A dialogue that flows without too much effort or one where you end up looking around for someone to come and save you.  Being out with a boring person that has absolutely nothing to talk about is torture.  Men that just sit there and look handsome will not cut it for us.  It takes courage to ask a girl out.  Therefore, leave the shyness at home and don’t be afraid to be yourself and speak out.

14. CHECK PLEASE

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Okay.  Before the men start throwing the “Times have changed and women are more independent,” card on me, let me be clear.  It is fine to split the bill on dates, just not the first one or two.  I know.  Times are rough and like I said, things have changed throughout the years.  But, on a FIRST date you guys should pick up the tab.  Call me old-fashioned but this is the way it should be.  It shows you are a gentleman and that you appreciate the time you just spent with her.

15. HANDS ON HER PLATE

As crazy as it sounds this does happen.

CLARISSA: “I will never forget when I went out with this guy and everything was going well until he took a piece of chicken from my plate.  He wanted to try it and thought it was okay to grab it from my plate without even asking.”

So men, if you want to try something from her plate, just ask and I am sure it will be fine with her to put some on YOUR plate.  You are not three years old anymore.  I am laughing as I write this but unfortunately it has happened to more than one person that I know.

16. THE STALKER

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This is the guy that knows everything about you.  He has been on your online profiles and studied every single detail about your life.  You go out on a date with him and it becomes creepy.  Not only does he know about your hobbies, work, family and friends and makes sure that you know that, but then he says so by staring at you.  Ahh!!  Stalker mode on full blast mode.

He then agrees on everything you say, at times not even allowing you to finish your sentences.  Men:  Even if you have practiced the online Psycho 101 course on your date, don’t let her know that by telling her everything you found out when you googled her or whichever way you went to “stalk her”.  It is completely and absolutely uncool and she will run away faster than you can say, “Please call me!!”

17. BAD TIME MANAGEMENT

You are not the only one out there asking us out.  If you really like a girl and take that step and ask her out, respect that she does have a life.  Being late without further notice is a no-no.  Calling and setting up the date at the last minute might show that she was a last minute thought or simply the second choice.  Cancelling more than once is also a sign that you are not taking this date too seriously.  Be honest if something comes up and you cannot make it but if you do this a second time, don’t expect her to accept the next invitation.

Also, we do not want to be on a date in which you are constantly checking your watch.  If you don’t want to be there, what was the whole point of asking her out.  If you are not into her anymore and the date has not gone as planned, at least be decent and finish what you started.  Her time is as valuable as yours.  By now, she probably doesn’t want to be there either so finish up and let her go.  She will thank you for that.

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18. PROTECTING/OVER PROTECTING

As my friend Linda says, “Being rude or defensive when someone hits on you at the bar, or not being protective of you when someone is annoyingly hitting on you at the bar.”  I love her statement!  We want to feel protected, even if we are just friends.

19. NOT ESCORTING HER

Even if she drove herself to the date, men should escort their dates.  Always make sure that they make it to their cars safely and a phone call to know she made it home safe is always a great way to end a date.
20. MIND GAMES

If the date went well, don’t be afraid to let her know.  Ignore the three day “rule” and follow up.  Dating is not easy, especially with all the social media sites.  Some men rely on checking out your profile to see what you are up to instead of calling.  If there was a spark and everything went well on your first date stop playing games and plan for a second.

LADIES:  If dating a certain man is becoming too stressful, it is time to move on.  Trust me when I say, there is always someone better out there and you know you found him when everything just feels right!

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Love and Light,

Darlene

http://www.twitter.com/darlenevaz

You can also read this article on http://www.clubfashionista.com (January)

© DarleneVazquetelles, [2013]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [DarleneVazquetelles] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What Women Want: Top 6 Qualities We Look for in a Man

Writing about relationships could be a little tricky.  There are so many factors to consider, such as age.  What you want in your 20s will probably change when you hit the 3rd floor. Lifestyles, past experiences, socioeconomic background and culture could also be very influential in any type of relationship.

When looking for love there is a question that I consider to be a common denominator between everybody, no matter where you came from, how old you are or your past and present circumstances. “WHAT DO WOMEN/MEN WANT?”  The answer to this question is crucial to demystify the opposite sex.  Being that I am a woman, I will talk about what WE want versus what MEN think we want.  Every woman has their own list of qualities they look for in a man.  Based on my own experiences and what I learned when speaking with many of my female and male friends, the following six qualities women look for in the opposite sex tend to be the most misunderstood by men.

1.  SENSE OF HUMOR

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According to a survey done by Men’s Health Magazine to more than 1,000 American women ages 21 to 54, 77% of women ranked Sense of Humor as their number one must-have in a man, beating out passion, confidence, intelligence and generosity.  These last four play a very important role in a man’s personality.  But, I have to agree that sense of humor is a key element in a relationship.

Men think we want                                                                                                            I have told guy friends that I look for sense of humor in a man and most do not believe me. Some men think that all a woman wants is a good looking man with green eyes, a six pack, a pearly white smile, perfect hair, and a big heavy wallet.  Although the aforementioned sounds appealing, personality is very important and without it the other assets will end up simply boring us.

What We Want
A man that you can have interesting, fun conversations with.  Mental stimulation is very important.  A woman will be happy if she is out with a man who can show that he is intelligent through eloquence and at the same time be witty.  Someone that does not take himself too seriously is a plus.  Humor often shows that a man is confident, clever and can be there to cheer you up when you are having a bad day.  Careful guys, we are not looking for a clown. Don’t overdo it. With all the fun and laughs some real conversations might be missed and we don’t want that. Also, conversations go both ways so talk, ask and listen!

The aim is to have a great time with someone no matter the time, place or circumstance.  In life you encounter the good and the bad.  Being able to share your sorrows and laughter with someone by your side is what we want.  Sharing the burdens and the happiness builds beautiful chemistry, and once you build those experiences together, the road ahead seems a lot less bumpy for the two of you.

2.  NO GAMES

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In an era where so many people communicate via text, Facebook, Twitter, among so many others, there has been a loss of picking up the phone and making an actual phone call.  This was one of the first scenarios I dreaded after my last relationship ended.  I was scared of going back to the whole dating scene because of the games involved with early dating.

Men think we want
Men tend to believe that they will make us like them more if they are mysterious and unavailable.  For instance, the man will stop calling or texting after the first couple of dates. They show little interest in our lives, but then they click “like” on our picture on Facebook, showing us they are still around.  Although this behavior can drive us crazy for a second,  all it takes is one night out with our girlfriends and a real man calling us to forget about you and your games.

What we want
We pretty much want someone who is reliable, trustworthy, honest and real!  If we went out and had a great night, there should be no games lined up.  If you say you are going to call, then call.  It is okay to receive a text message, an email,… but, it should be combined with phone calls.  If you like us, let us know.  If you want to ask us out, do it.  Life is short and options are endless, so playing games will end up being a complete waste of time and energy. Keep it REAL.

3.  ROMANCE & SEX

“In these times romance has been lost.”  I have heard this over and over again, but I have also learned that it is not completely true.  I have recently experienced that this is generalizing on the idea.  There are plenty of men out there that still know how to show their girls how romance is still alive.  Some don’t believe in it.  Some show it in their completely different and at times ‘strange’ ways, but it does exist.

Men think we want                                                                                                Opening car doors, buying flowers for your girl, telling her how beautiful she looks, who does that?  A high percentage of men think that they do not need to do that for their girls, especially when they have been in the relationship for a long time. Today women are more independent, leading men to believe that they really do not have to make too much effort to build-up a relationship and romance a girl.

What we want                                                                                                  AFFECTION, AFFECTION, AFFECTION!  Guess what guys?  We do want flowers, kisses, hugs, for you to hold our hands and shower us with compliments.  We like manners, chivalry and gentlemen qualities in a man.  We like to know that you are happy to be with us and you appreciate us.  There is nothing wrong with getting the princess treatment.  Hint:  If you treat us like a princess, there is a strong possibility that we will be motivated to show you our appreciation later.

And talking about that….Yes, we do like sex.  Good compatibility is an important factor in a relationship.  We can be your princess outside the bedroom and your seductress inside. But, we do have some petitions.

Many men do not understand that there are some stages and bases to cover before the act. We do like to cover these stages.  Yes, let’s welcome Mr. Foreplay to this article!  Sweet kisses, whispers and shoulder rubbing.  Be creative and be patient.

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Other ways of showing your romantic side:

Be accommodating to her needs, but not appearing spineless.

Allow her to make decisions that affect the two of you.

Protect your woman.  Take charge and step up in times of conflict.  I am not talking about conflict between the two of you, but any circumstance that occurs outside of the relationship.  One of the situations that hurt me the most in my past relationship had to do with this.  Always have her back when someone else is disrespecting her.  This goes both ways.

Respect her opinions, friends, family, hobbies, interests, body and mind.

4.  COMMUNICATION

This one is a strong key for any relationship, especially if one of you is constantly traveling for work.  Busy lives combined with quick communication via texts or emails can lead to misinterpreted messages.  At times, one of you may end up assuming one thing or the other and it all becomes a mess.  Assuming is a communication killer.  Always ask and listen.  Also, couples should be able to talk when the parties are calm and can focus on each other.

Men think                                                                                                                    Many men have trouble verbalizing their feelings.  They step back and settle in their ‘man caves’.  According to them we are too emotional and argue over nonsense.  They let us talk, let it out of our system and then just stay there quiet. On the other hand, some men will say what we want to hear just to make us happy and that does not work.  Dishonesty is not the answer.

What we want
What men can see as nonsense might be of huge importance for us.  At times we become all emotional, especially during that time of month, but with some understanding between both parts, no argument should erupt.  All we want is someone to hear us when we need to vent.

After reading “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, I learned one of the biggest communication lessons ever.  There is no point on trying to settle an issue while both sides are upset.  Each one should walk away and then try to settle it out when the air is clearer. Otherwise, words that are not meant to be said could be thrown out there and can be hurtful to one or the other.  The problem here is that walking away could be misinterpreted as, “I do not care so let me go to the next room.”  Make sure you do mention that you need some time to think and cool off.   Again, it goes both ways.

Honesty is also an important ingredient when it comes to relationships.  You want to let him know what you want and he should be able to do the same.  At the end of the day, all a woman wants is to know that her man is thinking about her.

So when you take that trip or have to work late, add your woman to your schedule.  There should be some time for a phone call and if possible some Skype.  It doesn’t take too much time to let us know that you care.

5.  GROOMING

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Men think                                                                                                                            Some people might think that men who take care of themselves, for example by going out for pedicures/manicures  are not straight.  There is a lot of insecurity and ignorance in that thought.  There is absolutely no problem with cleaning up, as long as you don’t overdo it and turn it into a one man runway show.

What we want                                                                                                               Both sexes work with their hands and feet.  Manis and Pedis are unisex!!  We all deserve it.

A relaxed sex appeal is better.

Cologne:  We like a good scent but make sure you don’t spray half the bottle on you.  It is such a turn off to be able to taste your cologne just by kissing you hello.

Although unibrows are never attractive, eyebrow shaping/waxing is for girls!!!

Dress up. We really don’t care which brand of underwear you have on so put those jeans up. Belts! Belts! Belts! Make that effort to look good. We do notice.  Obviously, it all depends on where you are going.  If you are taking your girl to a nice restaurant, leave the flip flops and ripped t-shirt at home.  Like they say, there is a time and place for everything and wearing a blazer does go a long way.  We like to dress up for our men, even when it’s just to go to the beach or sporting event, so pretend the dress code in your invitation to see us says Dress to Impress.

6.  FINANCIAL SECURITY                                                                                          How can I leave this one out when most of the men I asked regarding this topic on what they think women want answered MONEY.

Men think                                                                                                                           I guess these guys have been asking the wrong girls out.  I admit that there are many women out there that focus on getting the man that earns the most $$$ or has a successful social reputation.  I do not want to generalize here because most of us (at least in my circle) consider everything else I covered in the sections above more important than just money.
Many men tend to drive themselves crazy.  They put all their focus on work and being able to provide for their families. They understand that if there is no financial security, having a family will be almost impossible.  They focus on working in order to provide.  It is a logical situation. But then, balance between work and their relationship is sometimes lost.

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What we want                                                                                                                Just as men focus on their financial stability, nowadays a high percentage of women do the same.  I want to include myself here as I would never want to be in a position where I have to stay with someone just because I cannot stand on my own financially speaking.
Finances have played a major role in how relationships have changed throughout times. More and more couples are moving in together before marriage.  Living expenses, credit cards, student loans have increased with time.  Now co-habitating relationships are more socially acceptable and often seen as economically advantageous.

Still, the financial independence between the two does exist.  As men tend to feel threatened by past divorces, possibilities of alimony and child support, women feel pressure to have financial freedom before thinking about motherhood.  But even as we focus on career and that autonomy, we also look for that happily ever after with a husband.  We look for that balance that I feel sometimes men tend to lose.

As much as we love seeing them going out and having a career, especially if it is a job that they are passionate about, we also want them to spend time with us.  This is where that balance should come in.  We want quality time.  It can be just sitting at home, cooking together, doing house work or a simple walk around the neighborhood.

These are the moments that help a couple reach more intimacy.

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Relationships are not as complex as some make them seem.  It is a matter of communication, understanding and respect.  Know the other person’s needs and don’t ever try to change them.

This has been a fun article to write and as I mentioned before, I did it based on what I have seen, experienced, learned and researched among my friends.

I want to end it up by reassuring you guys that contrary to what many of you believe, it does not matter how independent your girl is and how finances are an important part of society, especially in these times, women are more receptive of romantic gestures than anything else.  It is not about the gentleman versus the bad guy.  It is not about  who has money and who is struggling.  It is about having someone who makes us feel loved and that no matter what, we can openly trust. Once this exists in the relationship, every step taken together will be more meaningful for both the man and the woman.
Darlene
http://www.twitter.com/darlenevaz

You can also read this article on http://www.clubfashionista.com

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